its jus me.......

I've just woke up... I'm not happy but dun worry, i'm not angry as well... So there wont be any vulgar words used in this post... Its just a sudden urge to blog, because i'm really depressed..

Dear world,
Do i have a behavioural problem? Am i a hypocrite? People out there who thinks i am, then i shall be from ur prospect... There's nothing i can do to change it... I can have a lengthy post defending myself, but i chose not to....

People alwiz tell me to look at my cup as half full, but they can't deny that it is half empty as well... I have lots of negative thinkings... I agree... I choose to be this way... Its my choice... If u r not happy with it, i'm sorry... Because when i see it being half empty, i emphatise on the room for improvement than volume i have left to back me up... Say i'm not contented? I might not be... Because people are alwiz greedy... A FACT KNOWN LONG LONG TIME AGO SINCE ANCIENT CIVILISATION... If human live in a contented phase, trust me, we wont have civilisation... British wouldn't join WW1... They won't have pressured Alan Turing to invent the first computer protocol....U won't be able to read my blog on world wide web... No, u are currently using the machine of war... A machine that was born bcuz of greediness... A machine invented by my clan of people, the greedy pigs like me.... I don't wanna be bothered by how many sips of water left in the cup before i finish my supply, i wanna know how much water that i can add in... I wanna fill the cup, so that one sunny day, i can drink it without worrying that i'll finish it... I'll share them... Though most people think i wont, think im a selfish bitch (jus one not so vulgar pls), but i know deep down, i will... I might mourn and complain in my blog... But i still will... I choose to think that my cup is not half fool....

If u really think im a bitch, take a cup of water plz, and set an appointment wit me... I'll allow u to splash it on my face... I think i've lost a fren today.... Someone who believe in seeing the cup is half full.... A bright fren... A close fren... But, might no longer be my fren... That's why im depressed...

Jus an update, there might not be anymore post on this blog, no Part 2 of 'what a mystery'... I might start a new blog, but it shall remain anynomous... I'm crying as i leave my sad sad blogspot that brought a disastrous event in my life... Good bye for now....

What a mystery?

Today is the day… the bloody day that I ragged about in my past few blogs… I hated today, I woke up late and the F***ing driver was ridiculously rude…



But the event very well, RTM did turn up... And i would like to virtually spank myself for being a sarcastic bastard to pray for the tsunami to come and bash up the event... Many many apologies... Because, today, the collection reached up to 86 pints of blood, and this supply could only last the blood bank for 3 days... 3 sick days... 3 short days... 3 DAYS ONLY!... No wonder they complained that the bank is running dry... I even crack a joke saying maybe draculas have been stealing those stale blood... *SPANK SPANK* *SPANK SPANK U AS WELL* Shame on u guys who could donate but didn't

brave heroes and heroins doin their part

But i wasn't much of a help there... Couldn't donate for both personal and medical reasons... But, did manage to drag few people to the Student Lounge until it was overcrowdedly packed... Decided to tour around Kota Samarahan campus, taking shots here and there *SNAP SNAP* More den 100 shots taken, yes, i have obsessive compulsive nature, if u ask...

Here i presnt to u, the SIGNS OF KOTA SAMARAHAN..

So many nice signs... Nice untill i thought KS people are retarded that they creatively did 2 different signs to convey the same meaning... Can you spot them? Let me try....

Hey, wait!! did u see wat i saw?

What happen to the toilet sign? It was a nice multisexual cubicle sign when i snap it just not long ago.. Now it sounds spooky, just like the SHUTTER...

Let's investigate further... First, inspection... (WARNING: THIS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE)
Eyes:
- one pair:normal
- postioned at the left axillary fossa of female symbol and right axillary fossa of the male symbol: abnormal
- pupils are dark black and rotated to the right : absolutely abnormal

Eyebrows:
- one pair, at superior of eyes: normal
- left eyebrow bushier than right: suspected eyebrow neoplasia for left and suspected eyebrow aplasia for right

Skin complexion:
-color is tanned orange: normal
-complexion changes slowly for fairer at right side to darker at left side. provisional diagnosis: none? (suspect didn't invest enough money in good sunblock - used cheapo hazelsnow that is obsolete from the market already, instead of protective banana boat)

Conclusion: Suspect is abnormal, diagnosed with both aplasia and neoplasia of eyebrows and uses cheapo hazelsnow.

Palpation: no signs

So who is this suspect? He seems familiar though... But i don't know any people from ks... Not as far as i remember...

*Think think and think*

Erm... i still don't get it... So people, plz, if u recall anythin... remind me ya... Tanx a million in advance

To be continue...

Vote....

Short and simple...

Vote for mrs shyangies....

Bcuz this fren posted 2 posts saying he wants to find a gf... I'm publicizing for him!! *Another angelic act of mine! wink wink* Haha, no offence la... Shyang, if u dun like the idea, i'll remove... Just tell me... Im putting up a stupid post cuz im so stupid till i've got nothing stupidier to do...

Update at 9.30pm: Poll has been removed due to request by shyangies... for result, can ask me directly... Sigh, less den 2 hrs poll ny...

reply.....

Well, now should i set the gendre(pronounced as 'jaun' as in jaundice and 'dre' as in stuffing ur mouth wit marshmellows and reading audrey aloud) for this blog as hatred? i din know the tiniest post of all got the most attention...

my blog has been craving attention for a very very long time... Even ppl like this and this whom i din know would be interested to drop by here actually tiny bitly included me in their blog (in both good and bad way)...*How touched(in a sarcastic tone, mind me)* All this while i tot my readers were my mom (yes, MY MOM), my pathetic little bro and a few close knitted frens....

What if i tell u guys that my hatred post was part of my cheapo publiscity to attract more visitors ar? Dun like ar, dun read la.... And stop telling me when i scold i very sat ie. wit great great hatred! Better go study for quiz....

Appear on tv

Blood donation thing is becoming really really MAJOR event here... Though not everyone is talking bout it... And sum ppl(like me) is cursing the hell out of it...

So this situation really took place...

x: May i know who is interested to donate blood for our campaign next Sat?
decent, not guilty! but only few lifted their deltoid and supraspinatus
x: For your information, either TV3 or RTM will be doing a coverage on this event..
WTF, guity as charged.. People donate blood to donate blood. Not to appear on Tv u morons. Look into the objectives b4 opening ur filthy mouth.

So to help out with the "omg-tv3-and-rtm is coming" thing, let me present to you....

DADAAAAAA!!!! The first UNIMED @ UNISTAR BLOODY STAR SEARCH!

btw, from what i heard, ks ppl said mass media will be doing a coverage.. Did they mention bout tv3 and rtm? NO!!! It could just b the cheapo-bornea post, that i don't read at all! And even if tv3 or rtm is comin, so what's so great bout it? U wanna appear on tv? Go and bomb the klcc la, and tell me bout ur plan so i can inform the police and mass media... *wink wink* who know, they might award me wit sumthin and i can share it with u, even if u'll be in jail by then... WIN WIN STRATEGY YA!

BTW, if u really plan to bomb, do it on the Feb 11, its auspious, as the double one figure looks like twin tower... and u can have more time preparing! If u need a banner, do tell me, i'll be glad to help u with that! The theme shall be: APPEAR ON TV, BOMB KLCC!

So wtf am i writing so many blady non-sense here?
1. Talk in a nice way to ur collegue.
X: As RTM and TV3 will be doing a coverage on this event, we need ur SUPPORT!
i'm so angelic. take a lesson from me,x!
2. Stop creating a big bullshit out of blood donation! I seriously hope a tsunami attack might take place and steal the limelight. U people deserve it!

Halfway thru completion....

Take a look... at my pirated work!!! ;p

All time bitch!

U F***ING bitch... Screw you hard!!! If u dunno who im screwing here, dun ask... If u know, keep ur blady mouth shut.... Bastard moronic retarded pea-brained bitch!

speed

x: hey, can u get the posters done by 4?
me: wat 4.00 pm, as in today's 4 pm? but i've only got break between 12.30 pm to 2.30pm.....(*&@#%^& in my heart!)
x: i need 2 designs...
me: can't we jus have one?
x: 2 means 2...
me:.......(&^$%^##!@$ cursing continues)

Within the speedy 2hrs, this is what i've produced....





So, you morons, go donate ur blood, after all the hard work i've done....(*%#%^$#)

Funny talk caught on act…

Yeap, I should be mourning now.. As my previous block result turn out as a patch of s***… But, the psycho me decided I’ll start mourning at 1.00pm, after I finish this blog.

Okie this is what happened.. Result came out, some happy faces, some sad faces… Some decide when to be sad and when not to be…

Legend: Grade X-above average XX-average XXX-below average

Case 1

A: WTF… How come so bad one my result…. Below average lerr… Grade XXX…. So bad… CGPA also parachuting……
***Blab la bla…. More complains…. Till A meet wit B
A: B, wat u got?
B: XX lo… U?
A: …..Grade XXX…. So bad… Bla bla bla… What C got ar?
B: Same as u… XXX….
A: Huh, C oso tat bad ar? Erm, now I feel a lot better cuz C's result oso not that good….
B: ..........

Case 2
A: Aiyo, I very scared ler. They got amendment for our result. Stupid pc mark wrongly
B: Dun worry, I saw dy… Our name area on the paper no one fail…
***Konon trying to comfort A
A: Izzit… But I still worry lerr…
B: What’s ur result before amendment?
A: A
B:…………….......

***B only got B and was trying to comfort A who got A…..

Now, time to mourn………….

Photoshop....

Im not selling PHOTOS in a SHOP.... And i'm certainly not good at photoshop...... When i say i KNOW photoshop, i mean THIS.................


I CAN DIMINISH MY OWN PIMPLES...

So why the hack did u guys call me to do banner.... Jus because my biro didn't submit a A4 length to do list, that half of them cannot be done because of time constraint, I'VE GOTTA BE THE SCAPE-GOAT? WTF....

So tanx to u guys, i really learn sumthing.... First, let me liquify UR* pictures...


Note: All liqufied models are just representation of YOU, YOU and YOU who pin-pointed me during the meeting... Bear in mind that they are not the true people i'm sending this message to...

Now, i feel lot better... *A SIGH OF RELIEVE* And i did learn to improve my photoshop skills too... Rest assured, if i learn how to create the burning effect, I'LL BURN u people into ashes.. MUAHHAHAH

Good morning world!

Before I continue, ladies and gentleman, please take a look at what time this blog is written.... Siao, 8.23am.... You see, what happened was, I've been late for my 8 o'clock classes for the past days and weeks. So the effortless me took an effort to wake up early and turn up for class in time... Why am I blogging? Was I was up to extent that I decided to jump into the 9 o’clock lecture…

SO WRONG!!!!

Finally, one nice cosy morning, I force myself to leave my bed with half eyes closed. Btw, today I really took the time to dress up myself... Wow, I look so neat and tidy…. For once…. Haha… Went up to the lecture hall, it was 98% empty and the 1%, a collogue, told me, “ Class shifted dy ma, you dunno meh?” and the remaining 1%, ie me answer paisehly “Oh ya ho, I forgot dy” hoping to cover up for my silly ignorant mistake of not paying attention in class…..

Still got one hour more to go, better go back my room and take my breakfast, MILK + CORNFLAKES… It taste horrible, I don’t like it, but my tummy needs it…. So, as alwiz the multitasking me, while eating, I mumble abit thru my blog… Tata, I wanna sleep for another 15 mins…

Rediscovery.....

As promised, here comes the second episode of re-discovering myself. I’m a gal who dreams a lot, who think a lot but put no effort and take no action. Everything I have right now, from what’s inside my head, to the clothes I in, I’ve done practically nothing, I feel. Its all the gift from God and my dearest parents. Yes, I study, but not hard enough I feel. See, now I’m in midst of my lower limb anatomy, and I’m blogging at the same time *wink wink* SHAMEFUL? Yes, I am. But, what can I do about it?

*Try change yourself for once, u blady fool!* word of wisdom from James Lai on Jan 1, 2006 nite.
Notice: He wasn’t that harsh, but my interpretation sounded that way.

Yea, let me repeat again, I tried, but I couldn’t. My effortless effort brought me nowhere. Medical school? Yea, so what if I’m in it? No one can guarantee that I can graduate. That feeling of doubts weather is this really the line of profession I wanted so badly kicks into my head every then and now.

I’m an antisocial freak. I do not initiate talk with people I don’t know. But once I know them, obviously the bubbly me can’t stop talking. Once in a while, I’ll start to think that I’m irritating those people around me, den the inferior side of Zhen took control and I turn into my silent mode again. So, again, why am I an antisocial freak? My upbringing? No my parents have been the most perfect parents! I think, once again, this is due to my instable-inferior mental condition. I have phobia of starting a conversation. What if they treat me like I’m a substandard me? They are gonna isolate me forever and ever. I’ll be cultured inside a Petri disc for the rest of my life, losing contact with the outer world. I can never accept my self in that situation. Kill me for goodness sake, rather than torturing me through that inhuman lifestyle.

Another chapter of Ms Zhen’s no-so-fairytale story;

I came into UNIMAS with bright light radiating from my eyes. I see my future so shinning so bright! When I step look outside the airplane, I got the shock of myself! I could actually see the tasik ladam from the view of my window. But enchanting Faculty of Med turned back the shock! I step into my room with the hope of an exciting new tomorrow. But, another weird event stunned me alive! My roommate is a fifth year, a studious freak, who don’t talk much! That very night I cried, fearing I’ll turn into her in another 4 years. Btw, since we don’t communicate much, I thought her name was Voon Ling (previous tenant before me) instead of Pei Ling, and I address her wrongly for the following 5 weeks I think (variance: plus minus 2 weeks). See, lesson of the day, even if I do initiate talk, when ppl don’t talk to me back, I’ll avoid talking to them for the rest of my life and I might even mix-up their name as well. Yea, here I am multitasking, ie chatting, blogging and reading my anatomy, while she pay her fullest attention to her books on her table at the other end of our small small room!

Back to the main topic, how insanely effortless I am. Very well written from my action now, BLOGGING instead of delving into Netter’s anatomy. So much bullshit for today, will continue over the weekend. My crazy jam-packed timetable squashed my life into a sandwich, only tiny pore from the bread allow me to breath! HELP ME!

“If you put more effort, u need no help” not-so-wise word of wisdom from Zhen

Talk about giving advice to myself, don't even let me start.......

Goodbye 2005….

Another year has gone…. In this midst of agony, I had a deep thought of my life… Who am i? Yea, I know I’m GCZ… But who is it within this concrete physical body? What kinda human am i? True, but shamefully, I’ve not been a good person for past 20 years….. So, this blog shall be a testimony of me!

ARROGANCE…. Yes, I think I’m pretty arrogant… Not that I look down at others, but at times, I feel I can hide my feeling of disgust of others if I particularly dislike that person… I remember I wrote an essay about how my F6 school irritates me, from the management, dirty politics, etc to my MUET teacher. She almost freaked out how a student can have such anger towards an institution that educates her. Till this day, I still refuse to be affiliated with that school. I was never proud of it, and I don’t think I will ever be because of the pea-sized-brain people there. I’m talking bout the management, not the friends whom I met there (They are great people, who really helped me through the daylight-nightmare I encountered in that place)… Then, there was this time, an acquaintance (I would assign him that), that I really felt irritated about, tried to jump into the conversation I was having with my buddy, but I ignored him all the way, not laying a single eye contact at him. Within 5 minutes, he got the signal and left me all alone. Not a single feeling of guilt caught me. Man, I hate my self, but I know I’ll hate myself even more if I put up a mask and live my life according to social expectation. I live my life for myself, MYSELF, not for you freaks out there, who has a social-meter, judging and grading me a value between -100 to +100. I know by the time I publish this blog, it shall drop to -200, but I don’t care, you are not me, I’m not you, so I don’t have to behave like you. Like it or not, I shall behave this way, people who don’t like me, get the hell out of my life!

Tiny voice within me: But the profession u chose requires you to be down to earth.

BING BANG, reality just hit me! Jus as what the uninvited guest had lectured us about, you have to maintain a good relationship with the lecturers. You don’t have to ‘bodek’ them, just put up a smiling face. I wont take your life away rite? And be nice to ur 3rd yr buddy, cuz they are the ones u are gonna rely on when u r in 2nd yr. WTF? I need to be hypocrite? Another downstream of my rollercoaster life… And I wanna stressed out again although I’m unhappy with myself for doing things that will be labeled as arrogant, I’ll feel even worse pretending, jus to strip off the stupid label…. I don’t think I ever can and will… Just keep my fingers crossed that everyone I meet in my life would be those I adore, those I feel good with, so I don’t have to put up a mask!

So much for today! In the next few days, I shall reveal more and more values within me that I really hate about myself! Adore me, hate me, its your choice. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN!